Dear Madame Jolie c/o OkCupid.com

Dear, B…,

Verbosity helps me make things clear to myself. I write as I think and editing takes so much time that I sometimes don’t have the time for.  I’m glad to hear that you’re real in the sense that you are actually here looking for an intimate companion. I get how hot you are.

Re our issues about weight and my experience of desire:

A coworker had a crush on me, we had great rapport but I didn’t desire her. A few years later, a sexy woman I immediately desired introduced herself at a party and I realized who she was about when she said she was now happily married. Other than the shape of her body, there was nothing different about her earlier presentation that affected my desire. Did she get what she wanted because she lost the weight or v.v.? I don’t know.

About me:

About fifteen years back, I stopped believing in life and drifted for awhile. Luckily, I didn’t do drugs or alcohol but I stopped exercising, put on weight and went from being athletic to whatever. Eventually, lost everything.

I was living up north among the Redwoods, three years ago, living a low profile existence in Fort Bragg, in Mendocino County. One day, literally, I did an about face and declared a future I’m living into now that includes all of my past constructively.

A big physical part of this transformation was then triggered by an accident in which I snapped both bones of my right leg just above the ankle. (I thought I knew pain.) Thanks to surgery and a modern titanium rod implanted in my leg, I’ve learned to run, dance and walk normally but it was nearly a year before I could discard a cane.

I found something I’d do every day all day and that helps my writing (other than sex). It’s taken almost daily effort without regard for time at first for me to renew a body about which I’m energized to desire intimacy and dance again and now I’m starting to play volleyball again and competitive outrigger canoe racing.

About my world:

My daughter lives in La Mesa with her husband, who works for Southwest Air and my grand daughters (one, 8, one 19) and a dog called, Buddy. We (the girls and dog) are as if mind-melded and my son-in-law is still trying to figure this out. Since returning from the emerald triangle, I’m living in Baypark in a house I rent along with two younger men, each of whom is a trip. Before I lived by the sea in Del Mar. There are many people from my past life around here who would like to see me but my future and the present keeps me occupied. In my professional work now, my collaborators are in the Bay Area, New York, London, Chicago and Tennessee and as I prepare to mount the play, I imagine I’ll contact more here.

Throughout my careers, I’ve always enjoyed the company of “ordinary people”, not that I don’t like my Del Mar, RSF and Bel Air friends and luxury but I have a fondness for people of simple tastes. One of my first film projects was for the City of Chicago Tourism Council and a LA TV station. I was recently married at the time and felt too guilty about accepting the attention of a stewardess I was offered by Continental Airlines and I walked out of the posh hotel after midnight, completely sober and drug free, walked into the closest poor black neighborhood, was picked up by a sex worker who took me home, where we partied with she and her friends in something you would probably call a cuddle flavored with wine, pot and heroin. I didn’t feel the need heroin as the sex-worker’s sister took all my attention. I didn’t know that my daughter’s mother and I should have talked about it afterwards.

😉 M

 

 

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